Lately I’ve been feeling crazy. My head hurts almost all the time & I’m constantly in my thoughts. It’s like only when I’m taking huge risks or basking in my solitude do I ever feel like myself again.. Or alive.. Or just out of my head. It’s hard to tell anything apart nowadays, I can’t distinguish what’s real, what’s desire, or what’s just an escape. Everything feels the same. I find my little vision I had diminishing, my little bit off newfound sense has also fled the building. I even hope this here what I’m trying to say is really how I even feel. I seem to not know or remember anything. I kinda feel empty.. All the time. And not a sad empty, but a quiet empty. I know it sounds weird, but the emptiness is rather very loud though. I’m making no sense & that makes it all the more confusing. its like sometimes it’s almost too quiet, too quiet & empty that it makes everything else rather boisterous.

Myself to remain detached. I keep forgetting. I get so caught up in the romance and la la la la of love that I forget it doesn’t change. Nothing lasts forever, nothing is yours. That truth is scary & I keep forgetting the truth. Don’t fall for love, you will be disappointed & suicidal depending on the extent. Butterflies stay for two seconds before they flutter off. In the real world with its unfortunate way of living today there is no one who can manage being there through life. I keep getting caught up. I need to get it together. Do not fall for anybody, everything is an illusion.